Scars
by OneShotForMyPain
Summary: I lost my everything since the day she died.


**Scars**

"_It's easy to let go, but hard to forget."_

I'm stubborn. That's what I am.

These scars really reminds me that the past is real. She was the reason why I was here right now. I loved her so much. But right now she's gone... just like the wind.

The car accident... It's all my fault. It was all because of me. Alcohol, ecstasy, and _her._ I wish that she was still here. Everything vanished after that night. I was too stupid. I never thought that something like that would happen that _easily._

***

"John!" I heard her voice calling my name.  
"Why?" I asked we were walking to my car, obviously drunk by the occasion.

"I love you so much you bastard!" she said out loud.

She has the most wonderful face I've ever seen in my entire life. There's no strength of me to leave her or just to let her go. She was always there for me. She never left me.

"I know that, but I LOVE YOU MORE!" I shouted. She was laughing while embracing me tightly as we got in.

All I can remember is that we are still drinking and all that while I was driving. The weird thing is, every word, laugh,giggle and smile that she unleash are locked in my thoughts.

But...

"John!"

The bright lights had blinded me.

The night that she was gone was the night of my proposal...

My eyes fluttered open. I saw her bleeding right on top of me. Stabbed by thin, long, sharp pipes delivered by truck that I had hit.

I tried to revive her, but I couldn't. She's already cold in my arms. Dead. No she isn't, that's what I believe. Though, it was no use.

I don't know what to do. I was so mad at myself. I couldn't get help from someone, I was trapped. No, I deserve this. It's okay, as long as I'm with her...

I cried as I hugged her tightly. It doesn't matter if she's cold.

"I'm sorry..." was all that I can say...

***

The funeral...  
I never left. That's all I can do. Stay...

"I'm sorry," Randy said as he patted me on my right shoulder.

"It's not your fault man." I told him.

"John, we should've made this a simple party..." Stacy said, she was crying. She also lost her best friend.

"No, no, no. It's my fault. That's it." I mumbled.

_"I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut.  
My weaknesses that I care too much...  
And my scars remind me that the past is real...  
I tear my heart open, Just to feel..."_

The thing that had left that made me remember the death of my love was the scar engraved on my chest.

It was hard for me to move on, I attempted suicide many times. However, Paul and Randy are stopping me.

I just finished college and did wrestling.  
All I believe is that wrestling could punish me with what I did four years ago.

I just couldn't forget her. But I, at least tried to accept it.

"I never did anything good for her, I think. She took my place in the death row. And I was never thankful of that. She should've saved herself first!" are the words always in my thoughts for years.

_"No John, I never had any intention to save myself because I don't want to lose you..."_  
"Yes but..." I caressed her face before I could finish.  
_"You know that I love you..."  
_"I love you too, but it's not enough, you didn't give me enough time to prove it."  
I heard her laugh once again.  
_"Oh Johnny, you always prove yourself right. But that time was already enough, and I'll always be right beside you."  
_She embraced me tightly and I also did.  
_"Kiss me..."  
_I kissed her as my dream ended.

_"I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut  
My weakness is that I care too much  
My scars remind me that the past is real  
I tear my heart open just to feel_

Drunk and I'm feeling down  
And I just wanna be alone  
I'm pissed cause you came around  
Why don't you just go home  
Cause you channel all your pain  
And I can't help to fix myself  
Your making me insane  
All I can say is

I tried to help you once  
A kiss will only vise  
I saw you going down  
But you never realized  
That you're drowning in the water  
So I offered you my hand  
Compassions in my nature  
Tonight is our last dance

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down  
And I just wanna be alone  
You shouldn't ever came around  
Why don't you just go home?  
Cause you're drowning in the water  
And I tried to grab your hand  
And I left my heart open  
But you didn't understand  
But you didn't understand  
You fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself  
But at least I can say I tried  
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life  
I can't help you fix yourself  
But at least I can say I tried  
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life "

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Guess who's the "she"?

Post your answers as a review!

I know that the story is complicated and dramatic. It's my first time doing this that involves death.

But I think it's good. Don't you guys think?

It's short but I hope that all of the details had fit in. xD

By the way, let's celebrate because this is my third "one-shot" story! Yay!

Oh and I hope that all of you Wrestling fans would read this because it gives me an idea for the next ones that I'll write sooner or later. !!!


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